Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
