: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
