At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
