Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
3 2 1 whiskey
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
