just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
