We won't sleep together?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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