Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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