Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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