just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
