Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
