just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
