I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
