I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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