That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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