I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
