Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
