what if every blade of grass was a penis?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
