Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize