Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
