I just saw a hot homeless man
I have demons in me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
