If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize