i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
