You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate all girls vehemently.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
