I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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