never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
