i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
