Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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