some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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