whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
