Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
