You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
