I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
