Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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