Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
