He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
