i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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