i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
