You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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