fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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