Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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