I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How does it feel to date your dad?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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