I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
