The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
