Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
