I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
