Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My dick has a subreddit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
