Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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