I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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