I met the friendliest cop last night
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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