Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
