just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
