Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
