Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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