i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
