How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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