There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
