Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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