I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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