If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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