i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
