Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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