Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
