For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
