I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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