38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
