u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He shit in the fireplace
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
