i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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