also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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