yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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