it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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