They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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