I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
