Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize